Have you ever looked on social media and thought to yourself wow she has it all going on, she’s the perfect mom? Of course, you have, we all have. But the truth is, she doesn’t exist. Your social media accounts are a small tiny glimpse of what people WANT you to see. I started feeling guilty because people at school, work or family would say “wow how do you it, you make it look easy.” And all I could think was- really? Because It’s NOT easy. So please forgive me for ever letting you think that! I don’t know what I’m doing half the time and I’m damn near drowning. What would make you think that? And then I thought right… my cute videos I posted, or that cute picture of my house. Well people I’m here to tell you I’m not perfect and no mom is. I started feeling like I was falsely advertising.
Was I Matilda’s father selling a used car? I do not want to be that person; I want to be REAL. And the struggle of being a mom is real—the GUILT is real.
I literally live minute to minute, I can’t make a damn playdate because my brain can’t actually function that far in advance. Who knows, maybe my son will be sleeping, maybe my daughter will be throwing a temper tantrum. Maybe one of them will poop on the floor and I’ll be to busy cleaning it up.
It’s hard; this phase of life its hard and it’s messy. There are days I yell; there are days that my house looks so bad that I don’t even want to be in it. There are days that my son wouldn’t nap—so I put him in the car to fall asleep just to get a couple minutes of peace.
I’m exhausted to the brim, can’t remember if I used the bathroom, drank water or even looked in the mirror that day (usually that’s a hard no) but this phase is only temporary. I know when I look back how dearly I’m going to miss it. When you’re in it it’s hard to believe you’ll miss it. But I already know I will miss the CHAOS…because I feel it now that my soon to be 6 year old is getting so big.
But still that GUILT is there, at the end of each day no matter what I said, or did I feel guilt. Guilty about if I was too harsh. I think to myself, I was to harsh, my daughter is going to hate me, she’s going to rebel and have all these psychological disorders because of me. Then sometimes I feel guilty because I was too easy. I think to myself, oh no she thinks I’m a pushover, she’s going to think there’s no rules, do whatever she wants and get kicked out of school. YES, my mind goes there (super dark, I know).
Guilt because-- Did I not play with them enough? Did they watch too much t.v...too much iPad? Did I not do enough fun things with them today? Was I too short because I was so tired from work? Did I not give them enough attention because I was on my phone? Am I a lazy mom because today I just want to lay on my couch and do NOTHING? Are they getting enough stimulation? Enough socialization? Am I raising a sociopath or a decent human??? Help.
But listen moms, if we weren’t great moms, then we wouldn’t feel GUILT at all. So, think of it like this, that guilt your feeling is a GOOD thing. It means you are constantly thinking of your little ones and you want to make sure you are doing the right thing. The mom guilt is there, but it means you’re a GREAT mom. You’re over analyzing and constantly wondering how you could be better, that makes you a perfectly imperfect, remarkable mom.
Comments