AH yes, that question which may be a resounding easy YES for some. And for others, the question alone possesses a abhorrent anxiety…
Well after we had our third baby, I was most assuredly having anxiety about if this would be the last time I would see a baby’s first steps… smell that newborn scent, the last time I would breastfeed a baby, the last time I would look into a newborns eyes and feel the world stop because it’s just you two… I know for some people the newborn phase is something they wish would end the second it begins. But for me, I love it, I mean incongruously love it. I know how quickly it will all be over because I have older children and it amazes me every day how quickly they have grown. Not only do I love the newborn phase and everything that comes with it, I thoroughly enjoy being pregnant (I know what you’re thinking…WEIRDO). Seeing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time, feeling those flutters as the baby first kicks, it’s an indescribable feeling. But you see, at some point I’m going to have to accept that these things will eventually have to end, and I won’t have a newborn anymore. But for me I was NOT ready, I did not feel it in my gut, so we went for the fourth, and I’m extremely happy we did!
Of course, now I’m getting the questions still, are you done? I think it’s hard to answer that question while you’re still pregnant because you don’t know what the future holds, but the feeling I’m already getting with this pregnancy in my gut is yes, four is our number.
The other recurring statements and questions I get are, “You’re crazy.” “I don’t know how you are going to afford it.” “Do you have enough room?” Yes, the rooms will have to be shared, yes, my kids won’t be able to get every single thing that they want, and yes, we all know I’m crazy. But I wanted one more tiny human to love, I wanted one more tiny human for my kids to grow up with, I wanted one more tiny human to fill this house with love and laughs and memories.
If you don’t THINK you are done having children, then don’t talk yourself out of it. As a person who came from a big family the one thing I love is the undeniable bond I share with my siblings, they help me through life and I can with certainty say, I’m not sure where I would be without their love, laughs and support. The things I remember the most are the times we would endlessly laugh and make jokes with each other, so maybe I can’t give my kids their own bedroom but hey I can give them something that is much, much MORE than that.
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